He sent a divorce text message???

3 years ago I found out my husband had been cheating since the start of our relationship so I left him for a few months, and then he sent me a text telling me that he wanted a divorce. He never filed so a few weeks after the text we decided to start over and because I didn’t trust him because of past infidelities we decided to gradually get back together and work on us, but during this time he still had “friends”. This pushed me further away and made me not trust him even more so we separated AGAIN and again he sent me a text saying that he wanted a divorce. At this point I was tired of crying all the time and wondering what I did wrong and I didn’t trust him so I began to move on with my life and about 5 months down the road I moved back to my home city and reconnected with a childhood friend who I had always had a crush on and vice versa, long story short me and my new friend began to date and grew closer (we never had sex or kissed because legally I was still married). Just when I was happy again my husband called me and says he didn’t file for the divorce yet because he still loves me and wants to make the marriage work. I believe in marriage so when I said my vows I meant them so I decided to give it another shot. I stopped talking to my friend and like a gentleman he respected my decision. It’s been 7 months since I’ve been back with my husband and things have been a bit better this time but the roles are reversed I am the one that no longer wants to be with him I still don’t trust him and he has yet to seriously apologize he just pretends like he did nothing wrong and we should just leave it in the past. I find myself wondering about what if I would have stayed with my friend they are so different and honestly I don’t want this marriage. Would it be low of me to text him and tell him “I WANT A DIVORCE”