I,ve lost the most important person in my life and I,m devastated, looking for advice from mature women.?

I am also not a mature woman, but I can say from experiece that alcohol changes people. I was raised by a good family, and when I drink, I go from being a nice, well behaved reserved girl into a sex crazed, belligerent, careless mess. I didnt believe I was as bad as I was til I seen pictures and videos of myself. One night I got so bad I was forcibly removed from a pub and have not been allowed back. Alcohol affects people in different ways. Im not sure how to offer advice on repairing your relationship with your ex girlfriend- all I can say is that everything happens for a reason, and chances are she is probably missing you as much as you miss her. Everyone makes mistakes and it sounds like what you did was way out of character and something that you deeply regret- surely she can see this? Is there a mutual friend you can possibly talk to about this? Other than that Im not sure as to how I can advise your next step- I hope she gives you another chance. Hope this helps :)