Friday, August 5, 2011

What is wrong with me? Nothing makes me happy?

I'm a 16 year old male and I fear there's something terribly wrong with me. I don't find pleasure in anything really anymore. I have no friends, because everytime someone asks me to hangout I say no. I'm crazy antisocial, the only person I hang out with is my boyfriend and even him not all the time. The only people I get along well are people from 2 generations ago (people who are 65+) because I don't fit in with anyone of my generation. I'm poetic, artistic, I love wine and strong cheese, cigarettes and classical music. No one my age gets me and I fear there's no one out there like that for me. The saddening part about only get along with older people is in 15-20 years..they'll all be gone..and I'll have no one left. I am so depressed I feel like I'm just breaking down. I feel like jumping under a train. I want to make it till adult life so I can drink and smoke legally but I dot know If I can get that far. My marks in school sort of suck (mid 70's) and I'm scared I won't get into a university, I'm going to have no friends left..I just don't see what the point is in even getting up anymore.

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